Sasuke's Unlucky Day
by RickHammersteel
Summary: Sakura has to go out to work, and Sasuke has to look after baby Sarada. Surely nothing could go wrong, right?


"Remember the formula in the fridge."

"Yes, dear."

"Everything you need is in my notebook. You should be able to read my handwriting."

"Yes, dear."

"And don't forget to call if there is an emergency!" Sakura smiled as she booped Sasuke's nose,"I will be back by 7:00, okay?"

Sasuke nodded. He looked towards the crib where the heiress to the Uchiha name lay,"Everything will be fine."

"I know, and I trust you to keep Sarada safe while I'm gone." Sakura put on her jacket and started for the door,"Bye now!"

Sasuke waved her off. He turned to the crib, where his little girl was napping. A soft smile came to his face, a smile he wouldn't show anyone else. He got up and turned to the kitchen,"I've got time for some tomato juice." He went to the kitchen.

Upon his return, he noticed a severe lack of a baby. He ran to the crib and then noticed an open window. He looked out, noticing nothing was there,"How!?" He snarled,"I looked away for a second!" He leaped out and landed onto the ground below,"Sarada!" He shouted.

Images flowed through his mind as he ran off, mainly of his mangled corpse if Sakura found out he let Sarada off by herself. He kept calling for her name as he ran into the market,"What am I doing, she's a baby, she won't answer back!" He grumbled.

He began searching the market, looking inside barrels, fruit carts, other baby carriages, but to no avail. He looked at a flower shop, and narrowed his eyes,"There!"

He burst into the shop, causing Inojin to cry in Sai's arms.

Sai began to rock the baby,"Oh, no..."

Sasuke stared at the mostly empty shop,"Sorry." He looked at Sai behind the counter,"I'm looking for my baby, have you seen her?"

Sai looked at him, eyes wide,"Oh, no..." His voice was a little more urgent.

"What?" Then Sasuke felt a presence behind him. He realized that, unfortunately for him, there was an Ino-shaped demon behind him.

* * *

Sasuke landed on a dinner table, looking up at three occupants.

Choji smiled down at him,"Hey, Sasuke!" He handed him a piece of a steak,"Want a steak?"

Sasuke bit down on the meat, and then swallowed,"Thank you." He got up and then bowed,"Sorry for the intrusion." He walked away.

Karui swirled her tea,"What a nice guy."

* * *

Sasuke ran out, looking left, and then right, then left again. He sped off, his eyes searching every nook and cranny. His eyes then stopped at the only man he knew could help him. His best friend, confidant, and fellow new dad, Naruto Uzumaki, eating ramen.

He ran inside,"Naruto, I need your help!"

Naruto stopped, and then looked at him,"With what?" His eyes narrowed,"Is something wrong!?"

"My baby is missing, and I can't find her!"

"..." Naruto raised an eyebrow,"Superpowered eyesight, and you can't keep track of a baby?"

"Not. Now." Sasuke growled," Besides, how are you with Boruto?"

Naruto smirked,"Heh, my shadow clone is-" He stopped,"Crap." He got up,"Sorry!" He ran off after leaving some money.

Sasuke let out an annoyed growl,"At this rate, I'm never going to find her!" He then stopped when he heard screams of,"Baby!" He turned with a hopeful gaze towards...

A construction site, where Sarada Uchiha was crawling along one of the girders,"Damn it." Sasuke muttered.

With the speed of a master, Sasuke ran up the skeleton of the building and towards the beam Sarada was crawling along. He stopped and began to slowly move towards her,"Sarada, Daddy needs you to-" Then Sarada began to crawl off,"Sarada!" He ran off into thin air. He looked down, noticing that his daughter was being safely carried down by a steel beam,"Oh."

Then Gravity remembered that it worked, and Sasuke began to plummet to the ground,"Got to use Susano'o!"

Then he remembered, no Susano'o in Konoha. A rule instated by Kakashi, and enforced by Sakura,"Crap." He said, before landing in concrete.

The Concrete Monster formally known as Sasuke Uchiha stood up, growling. He used his chakra to burn off the substance, much to the horror/delight of the construction workers around him. He spotted Sarada crawling off, into a trampoline and then jumping over a fence with a happy squeal.

"Daddy's coming!" He ran towards the trampoline, jumped and then landed on the other side.

"Stop!" He heard a voice call out. He turned and saw a worried Ten-Ten holding her hands up,"Don't. Move."

"OR what?" Sasuke instinctively took a step forward.

"I'm testing a trap there!" Ten-Ten said,"I need to disarm it!"

Sasuke frowned,"I don't have time, I'm looking for my daughter."

"Oh, that little baby that's heading towards the hospital?"

Sasuke's eyes widened,"No!" He took another step forward. Things began to get shady," I didn't know it was supposed to be cloudy." He looked up, and saw an anvil coming towards him,"Oh."

The anvil smacked into his face, causing his entire body to become rigid. Ten-Ten winced as the anvil slid off of him.

Sasuke turned to Ten-Ten,"You know what, Karin? It wasn't a good idea to fight the Raikage, he can kick my ass~!" He grinned, before falling over. He took a few seconds to wake up, and glare at the hospital,"No, I will not lose this day!" He ran towards the hospital, kicked the doors open, and ran inside.

"Oh, hello, Mr. Uchiha" The receptionist said at the counter.

"Baby. Now." Sasuke said.

"I did see a baby go that way." The receptionist pointed to the left.

Sasuke's blood ran cold,"No, that's-" he ran in that direction, through the halls

And in Sakura Uchiha's office.

Sakura had her back turned towards her doorway, cuddling a cooing little baby.

(Okay, just walk away, and pretend that you were in a fight, and you had to teleport Sarada somewhere safe.) Sasuke took a step back.

Then he heard Sakura's voice,"Sasuke."

Now, Sasuke rarely feared anything. In fact, he prided himself on having a lack of fear in him. So, it was a big surprise to him when he found the tone of voice Sakura was using really chilling.

"Yes, dear?"

"Why is our little peanut here, and not at home?" Sakura slowly turned to him, eyes green with rage.

"... I was in a fight?" Sasuke said.

"... Sasuke, tell me the truth." Sakura said.

Sasuke sighed. It was time for his secret weapon. He walked up to her, and placed his hand on hers,"Sakura, I love you."

Sakura's eyes went wide,"Sasuke, I..." They narrowed again,"Love you too, but you're not getting out of this. And I know the perfect punishment."

* * *

"I'm Happy-Peppy-Betty!" A kunoichi sang

A male appeared next to her,"And I'm Happy-Peppy-Gary!"

"We're peppy happy peppy happy happy peppy hap!" They both sang.

Sasuke sat, Sarada snoozing in his arms. He looked at the sign,'Ninja Parenting Class' and muttered,"Kill me now."

Naruto sat next to him, and laid his head on his fist,"Kill me first."


End file.
